众所周知，在留学申请的过程中，文书是招生官加深对你的了解和印象的直接窗口，然而，太多人觉得，想要写好一篇优秀的文书，实在是难如登天，因此小编给大家整理了一下在文书写作的时候必须规避的6个雷区，还为大家带来了一位横扫5所常春藤的超级学霸的文书作为案例哦！

随着近些年来申请美国留学的小伙伴越来越多，留学文书写作也成为了大家都十分头疼的一个命题。对于招生官而言，留学文书是除却成绩硬指标之外，最直接的了解你的日常表现和个人经历的最直接的窗口，因此留学文书的重要性不言而喻，但是，有不少的小伙伴在写文书的时候实在是太实成了点，把自己的过去的经历全部展现了出来，而有一些内容其实是教授并不想知道的，这就可能踩了教授的雷区了，因而，如果你想写好留学申请文书的话，以下的6点千万别在文书当中出现！

1、Excuses不要为自己找借口

也许你用一些糟糕的经历作为切入点，如亲人病故、父母离异、生病辍学等，你可以描述这些事情发生后的感受，以及如何克服各种沮丧的情绪。但千万不要描述因此成绩滑落、离家出走或者做了其他一些错事坏事，因为这样AO会认为你在为自己的不良行为找借口和托辞，这不是一个思想成熟的人应该有的做法。尽量不要在文中展现负面的情绪，这样只会对招生官对你的判定产生不好的影响。

2、Drug use\Time in Jail犯罪行为

美国大学每年都有令人头疼的各种校园犯罪新闻，而申请人在未进入大学已经有这些可能为学校带来负面影响的经历，想必每个AO都不会选择如此“impressed”的候选人。如果很不幸你真的有这样的行为，建议你还是不要再申请美国的大学了，没有一所学校会喜欢一个有前科的学生，除非你优秀到能够让他们忘记你曾经的经历。

3、Travel Journal旅行生活

旅行会丰富你的生活经验，深挖细写是可以成为一个美妙的申请文书。然而，这种过多申请人写的话题若是没有处理好，就会成为一篇流水账。你要做的不仅仅是突出事实，而应该深入分析的一个有趣的经验。比如你去美国玩一圈，你能具体分析某些细节吗?比如美国超市可乐价格与中国超市可乐价格的差异，或者美国特有的In&Out为何比麦当劳好吃等等。切入点可以很小，但一定要有细节描述和自己的想法。

4、Social, Religious or Political Lectures宗教及社会安全

这一类题目申请者应小心触碰，你可以谈论如克隆、枪支管制、宗教信仰之类的话题，但不要在文书中明确表明对或者错这样绝对的观点。因为你不知道阅读你文书的AO，他们的看待此事的态度是否与你相悖。一不小心，你的观点可能就会引起他们的不舒服甚至反感，因为这属于原则问题，不是无关痛痒的娱乐话题。

5、List of Accomplishments罗列奖项

申请表上大把空位让你罗列自己获过什么学术性或者非学术性的奖项、参加过什么义工活动、社会实践、有什么兴趣爱好等。千万不要在申请文书上再重复罗列这些事情，这样只会让你白白浪费一个展现自己的机会。切记，一个乏味的活动清单绝对不是一篇好文章。你的文书并不是你的表功侧，招生官们希望看到的文书里呈现的不是一个完美无瑕的你，而是一个真实，有内涵，有追求的你。

6、Heroism英雄主义

美国大片很喜欢展现个人印象主义，超人、美国队长、蜘蛛侠、蝙蝠侠等等形象深入全世界。但是电影毕竟是虚构的，现实中大学AO是不喜欢看到过多宣扬个人英雄主义的文书。很多申请人会写自己如何独力获胜足球比赛或者改变一个朋友的人生，难道你不觉得谦虚和礼让不比狂妄自大更讨喜吗?

或许看到这6点之后，你还是不太明白，一篇优秀的文书究竟该怎么写？不要紧，我们为大家带来了一位学霸的文书作参考，刚刚高中毕业的Brittany Stinson凭借她的一篇essay斩获了斯坦福大学以及常青藤的五所大学：耶鲁、哥大、宾夕法尼亚大学、达特茅斯和康奈尔大学，要知道斯坦福的录取率要比常青藤的这五所大学的都要低，只有4.69%，能够凭借一篇短短几百字的短文就那些这些学校，这样的能力也是没谁了。而她所申请到的学校不止以上的这些，还有约翰·霍普金斯大学、西北大学、纽约大学一波士顿大学。最近刚出消息，说她最终选择了斯坦福！你一定跟我一样，对这篇牛到没朋友的essay好奇。先让我们来看下这篇文书的分析吧！

单纯从文章的内容来着手进行分析。这篇文章主要讲述的还是Britney从自己小时候延续至今的逛超市的习惯着手，表明自己在日常生活的小细节中，得到了 许多能够增进个人分析能力，理解能力和人生态度的经验。随后，又从和爸爸一次购买火腿之后发生争吵，引出了自己的人生观价值观，然后着眼于这些不起眼的小 事件，引发出了自己如何热爱参加活动，并将自己不断学习，获得成就的故事比作是在逛一家巨大的超市，从而使整篇文书显得生动有趣，并不是那么的乏味，而在 描述自己的获奖经历时，她也没有一味地堆砌自己的成就，安然满足于自己的现状，她在文章中表现的求知欲和探索精神，是在自然中流露出来的，而非矫揉做作的描述，招生官们大多会喜欢这样自然的文书。或许这就是她的文书能够在众多申请者中脱颖而出，成为被选中的那一个人的原因吧。

这就是那篇大家期待已久的文书啦！

Managing to break free from my mother’s grasp, I charged. With arms flailing and chubby legs fluttering beneath me, I was the ferocious two- year old rampaging through Costco on a Saturday morning. My mother’s eyes widened in horror as I jettisoned my churro; the cinnamon-sugar rocket gracefully sliced its way through the air while I continued my spree. I sprinted through the aisles, looking up in awe at the massive bulk products that towered over me. Overcome with wonder, I wanted to touch and taste, to stick my head into industrial-sized freezers, to explore every crevice. I was a conquistador, but rather than searching the land for El Dorado, I scoured aisles for free samples. Before inevitably being whisked away into a shopping cart, I scaled a mountain of plush toys and surveyed the expanse that lay before me: the kingdom of Costco.

Notorious for its oversized portions and dollar-fifty hot dog combo, Costco is the apex of consumerism. From the days spent being toted around in a shopping cart to when I was finally tall enough to reach lofty sample trays, Costco has endured a steady presence throughout my life. As a veteran Costco shopper, I navigate the aisles of foodstuffs, thrusting the majority of my weight upon a generously filled shopping cart whose enormity juxtaposes my small frame. Over time, I’ve developed a habit of observing fellow patrons tote their carts piled with frozen burritos, cheese puffs, tubs of ice cream, and weight-loss supplements. Perusing the aisles gave me time to ponder. Who needs three pounds of sour cream? Was cultured yogurt any more well-mannered than its uncultured counterpart? Costco gave birth to my unfettered curiosity.

While enjoying an obligatory hot dog, I did not find myself thinking about the ‘all beef’ goodness that Costco boasted. I instead considered finitudes and infinitudes, unimagined uses for tubs of sour cream, the projectile motion of said tub when launched from an eighty foot shelf or maybe when pushed from a speedy cart by a scrawny seventeen year old. I contemplated the philosophical: If there exists a thirty-three ounce jar of Nutella, do we really have free will? I experienced a harsh physics lesson while observing a shopper who had no evident familiarity of inertia's workings. With a cart filled to overflowing, she made her way towards the sloped exit, continuing to push and push while steadily losing control until the cart escaped her and went crashing into a concrete column, 52” plasma screen TV and all. Purchasing the yuletide hickory smoked ham inevitably led to a conversation between my father and me about Andrew Jackson’s controversiality. There was no questioning Old Hickory’s dedication; he was steadfast in his beliefs and pursuits – qualities I am compelled to admire, yet his morals were crooked. We both found the ham to be more likeable–and tender.

I adopted my exploratory skills, fine tuned by Costco, towards my intellectual endeavors. Just as I sampled buffalo-chicken dip or chocolate truffles, I probed the realms of history, dance and biology, all in pursuit of the ideal cart–one overflowing with theoretical situations and notions both silly and serious. I sampled calculus, cross-country running, scientific research, all of which are now household favorites. With cart in hand, I do what scares me; I absorb the warehouse that is the world. Whether it be through attempting aerial yoga, learning how to chart blackbody radiation using astronomical software, or dancing in front of hundreds of people, I am compelled to try any activity that interests me in the slightest.

My intense desire to know, to explore beyond the bounds of rational thought; this is what defines me. Costco fuels my insatiability and cultivates curiosity within me at a cellular level. Encoded to immerse myself in the unknown, I find it difficult to complacently accept the “what”; I want to hunt for the “whys” and dissect the “hows”. In essence, I subsist on discovery.

因此，想写好一篇文书，不光需要注意在语言搭配上的自然，当然也需要注意不要触及雷区，这样才能让招生官感觉眼前一亮，成为一篇足够优秀的留学申请文书，同时结合你出众的个人能力，就可以轻松KO招生官啦！